Today I cried -- as I did yesterday, the day before, the day before that -- and so on and so on. As a matter of fact, I've been crying since April 11, 2011, (and here I was under the impression that double numbers were supposed to be lucky). Of course, I don't cry all day, just moments when I realize what is in store.
Cancer sucks! It sucks even more since I've been there before, back in 1991, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This time the diagosis is "oral cancer." I am absolutely petrified. Here I am, a 57 year old woman - a wife, a mom, a grandma - and my head is spinning. I'm an easy going person, I try not to get bent out of shape about the little things, but recently have turned into a monster. I am surprising myself as to how nasty I can really be.
On 5/25, I went for a PET scan. For those of you who are not familiar with this test, the day before, you are not allowed to drink anything but water. I HATE water. I'm more of a diet coke or sweet tea kind of person. In addition, you are only allowed to eat low carbohydrate foods. No caffeine, no nicotine, no alcohol. You are not allowed to eat breads, potatoes, fruits, pasta, sugar, candy, rice, milk, corn. I realized that the foods I was not allowed to eat were the foods that I eat every day. So except for some slices of hard cheese, I didn't eat anything the day before the test. Needless to say, on the morning of the test, I acted horribly. All I know is that shortly after I arrived for the scan, the nurse couldn't wait to give me valium, and I can't say that I blamed her.
On 6/7, good news. The results of the PET scan showed no cancer anywhere else. Thank you God!